We hurt the ones we love most
by Manavie
Summary: Sometimes anger makes us hurt those we love the most. Set after Metamorphosis Spoilers for Scarecrow and Metamorphosis


**Supernatural doesn't belong to me. Spoilers for Scarecrow and ****Metamorphosis **

_A.N.1: Special thanks to Abni for her awesome beta reading helping with the summary..it's all her :D …and another special thanks goes to Muffy and Abni for being the strength of me and encouraging me all the way for posting this story. :D hugs_

_Special thanks goes to Nana56 for helping out my problems with "Ever the Same" story :-) Although I didn't torture Sammy ;-) I did write something :-D _

_A.N.2: Well beware about this story. I'm pretty nervous about it._

_Happy reading_

**We hurt the ones we love the most**

_-__Two years ago-_**  
**

Sam's mind wouldn't stop replaying what had happened in the past few hours. Their father's call, the fight he and Dean had, him leaving Dean to find John, what Dean told him over the phone, meeting Meg, listening to her… Sam gritted his teeth in frustration. Of all the things that had been said and done, he could least forget what he had said to Dean

"_Ok, I know how you feel."_

"_Do you? How old were you when mom died? Four! Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel?" _

Sam had regretted the words afterwards. He had said them in anger and frustration, but still it was no excuse. He said something that wasn't at all right, whether he'd been angry or not. Sam couldn't fully comprehend what it must mean for Dean… to have known mom and then to lose her. A mother's love was, unfortunately, a foreign concept for him. But Sam knew that Dean still missed her from little details he had picked up on in his 22 years.

Sam sighed and looked at Dean, who was humming happily to the song playing on the radio. Sam smiled affectionately. He stared back out the window trying to muster up the courage to talk.

"Spit it out, Sammy, will ya? Your thinking makes me nervous." Dean's voice broke through the speech Sam was rehearsing inside his head. Sam looked at his brother carefully. Dean's eyes were on the road, but Sam suspected they hadn't been one moment earlier.

"Unless you want to crash your baby, I suggest you keep your eyes on the road, dude," Sam said in amusement.

"Yeah? I suggest you spit out whatever you are practicing inside that head, then we'll both be happy."

Sam rolled his eyes. He hesitated for a moment, then said "I'm sorry."

Dean gave him incredulous look. "For what? Ditching me during a hunt?"

Sam flinched. "Well, for that too." Sam's voice trailed off. "But mostly for what I said."

Dean frowned. "You said lot of things, Sammy."

Sam ducked his head. "Um… About mom," Sam said in a small voice.

Dean's grip on the steering wheel tightened. Sam bit his bottom lip in worry, wondering whether it was too soon to bring out the topic. Maybe he should have waited.

" You were pissed, Sam," Dean said drily.

Sam risked a look at him. His brother's face was blank. "Yeah, but that was no excuse for what I said," Sam said looking down, playing with threads in the hole in his jeans.

"Maybe… But when people get angry they say things that hurt others…"

Sam flinched again and stared out of the window, lacking the courage to look at his brother's face.

"Especially ones who are close to us."

That caught Sam's attention. "When did ya become so perceptive?"

"Since some lunatics tried to sacrifice me to a scarecrow."

"Are we having a chick-flick moment?" Sam asked, his voice rising with amusement. Dean gave him a funny look. "No" he said indignantly.

"We so are ."

"In your dreams, Sammy."

"It's Sam not Sammy."

"Really Sam..my?"

"You're a jerk, Dean!"

"You're a bitch, Sam!"

Sam bit his lips trying to suppress the laugh.

"Just so you know, Sam… That was _not_ a chick-flick moment," Dean said with amusement in his voice.

Sam knew when he was handed a peace offering, and he was more than happy to accept it. "Yeah… Thanks," he said, a smile on his face.

………………

Dean sat down on the bed staring at the empty motel room, his mind still frozen on the memory of him punching Sam. He had not only punched the kid once; he had punched him twice. Not to mention that time when they had first met Gordon. Dean ran a shaky hand through his hair and sighed. Things had been messed up since he had come from hell. Sam was distant… He was distant… And too many secrets lay between them. Sometimes it felt like they had to struggle just to be brothers.

Dean was still angry with Sam for not telling about his powers earlier. The idea freaked him out, and in a blind rage he had lashed out on the kid. But now, looking back, Dean regretted hitting Sam. No matter what had happened, it was something he should not have done. He had kept Sam at a distance all day long, hurting him with words… He might have done it in anger, but…

"_If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you."_

Dean froze as what had happened finally began to sink in. Suddenly it hit him like icy cold water. He couldn't believe he had said that… The one thing Sam had always feared; that he'd be one of the things they hunted, and Dean had told him that right out. This was his _little brother_… Powers or not, Sam was the little brother he had always protected and cared for. Dean groaned and buried his face in his hands, trying to fight off the tears. _'What on earth possessed me to say that to Sam?' _Dean cursed inwardly.

The bathroom door opened and Sam walked in, drying his hair. Dean looked up at him only to find Sam quickly turning away and busying himself with the duffel bag. Dean slowly got up and walked towards Sam. He had to clear things out before his little brother started thinking something stupid…

"Sammy?"

Much to Dean's dismay, Sam tensed. Dean sighed. "I need to…"

Sam swirled around looking more tired than usual. "Save it, Dean… I'm not up to listening to it."

"Sam…"

"Dean…"

"I'm sorry, ok?"

"For what?" Sam asked in a small voice. "The way I see it, with what's happened these past days, it's me who should apologize."

"I'm still pissed at you for not telling me about the…"

"Dean…. Please, I'm not in the mood for listening, ok? I told you I won't do it again… And please try to leave it at that point?" Sam said tiredly, sitting down on the bed.

Dean slowly walked over to Sam and sat on the other bed.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said."

"You said a lot of things, Dean," Sam said, looking at him.

"I know… I just want you to know whatever happens you're my brother… That won't change, and as long as I'm around nothing bad is gonna happen to you."

Sam nodded. "I know that," he said firmly.

"Good, you remember that."

"You were pissed, Dean, I get it…"

"Yeah, I was pissed and, hell, I still am… But it doesn't mean what I said and did was right," Dean said, looking at his hands and hoping they would stop shaking.

"Maybe… But when people get angry they say things that hurt others…"

Dean looked at up at Sam to find his little brother smiling softly at him. "Especially ones who are close to them," Sam continued.

Dean smiled, remembering the same words being voiced a long time ago by himself.

"Just for the record… You turned it into a chick-flick moment this time," Dean said, looking exasperated.

Sam grinned at him, and Dean couldn't help returning the grin.

**The End**

_Hope you'll drop a review : -) Thanks a lot for reading_


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